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Le Journal de Vriane [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
vriane

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Friends Only [Mar. 30th, 2011|06:46 pm]
vriane
Bubble rules!
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In no order and no categories [Dec. 16th, 2001|06:21 pm]
vriane
Meditate every day
Eat and drink moderately
Prepare something to do every week-end
Work regularly and do not stay stuck too long
Talk more with teachers
Relax once every day
Keep smiling
Write some personal things regularly
Work or relax, but no in-between
Practice yoga
Keep a photographer's eye on the world
Take care of living environment
Set limits on computer use
Have a good life hygiene
LinkWrite my body

(no subject) [Dec. 15th, 2001|07:22 pm]
vriane
Reading Hannah Arendt, "Eichmann in Jerusalem". Though i know what she wrote is subject to much caveats, it is really a very compelling view of the bureaucratic horrors and of the "mind" of Nazis.
I have read quite a lot about the extermination of Jews (and others) by germans (and others), but this book is very interesting because it gives a global view of the organization of the "final solution" and its development.
This is a big warning when it talks about the mind of Eichmann and how he was so unable to bear the view of dead Jews but still organized their murder, because he was not directly involved with it.
This is why a bureaucratic state can easily become inhumane and criminal.
LinkWrite my body

(no subject) [Dec. 10th, 2001|08:29 pm]
vriane
Strange feeling, listening to radio with bad reception of both news broadcast and classical music. Classical music is calm and serene feeling, while news broadcast evoke violence and stress. When the two mix, i do not know which one will win, which one is strongest. It is the world that fights with inner calm. A good expression of my state of mind. I kind of like hearing music that way, it gives more emotional force to music, deformed and strident, peeking out of a mass of gloomy corrupted news.
LinkWrite my body

Long post ? [Dec. 2nd, 2001|05:40 pm]
vriane
OK, i have my cup of coffee, almost American like so much it is light, the sun is setting and the city is calm, my neighbours are not back yet, so it is cool, people are coming back from week end, it was a nice day, after many days of overcast clouds etc.
I have thought a bit along the line of "focusing" by Gendlin, and i have a list of things that are not OK, that bug me, that are always in the back of my mind, that are restraining me, that are making me feel bound, impatient, tense. I have no solutions for those things, but think there is nothing a good life hygiene and taking an active stance towards things will not solve. I feel like, but i may fool myself, i am on my way to be able to experience things more fully. But there are many unresolved issues, things i do not understand about myself, eg why i am so nervous and scared. Nervous about noises, a bit scared by some people who i feel may hurt me. I would like to be able to concentrate more on my work on myself, but i get distracted by those, possibly pathological (?), problems.
I am trying to find a new flat that will be more quiet than mine, but that is not so easy, given the blast that ocured in the city two months ago and sent many people looking for new flats since theirs were flattened or badly shaken.
Saw a relatively bad movie by Imamura, he is supposed to be a great Japanese cineast, but this movie was not good. Too many repetitions of the same themes which at first are OK, but then it is boring. Some good parts, though.
I am going to see the new Woody Allen, i have to, that is part of the pre-Christmas assignments ;-)
Other than that, i get desperate about photography, i miss the most basic things, i repeat the same mistakes : i need to learn by heart some things that should become automatic.
LinkWrite my body

Good joke [Nov. 25th, 2001|07:01 pm]
vriane
An Argentinean who says : " here in Argentina, we have no Thanksgiving, it seems like we just killed the Indians without taking their food first "
Ah ah ah, that is good !!! :-D :-D

On another note, made good photos of a far left demonstration in the center of my city. They set up a temple of consumption, with in the middle of a circle a pile of garbage, and in each sector of the circle : 1) A guy with a computer hooked to the Internet going crazy buying things online 2) A girl with a pile of clothes, changing them frenetically 3) A girl smoking compulsively and drinking coffee like an addict 4) A guy forcing himself to eat chocolates until he throws up, and a guy drinking wine and alcohol until he, well, throws up. Around the circle was a girl making people fill up a questionnaire asking them detailed personal information to make them buy even more things.
That was funny, i hope my photographs were good.
People were quite surprised, i myself do not understand how those far left people differ from some religious extremists.
We have quite a lot of funny far left people in my city, artists for the main part, problem is, they are cut from social realities.
LinkWrite my body

Genealogy [Oct. 30th, 2001|11:10 am]
vriane
[Current Mood |goodgood]

My mother sent me a letter with genealogy of her mother's family, from which i learnt we have an ancestor who took part in the first crusade in the 11th century. More important to her, i think, is the explanation for why they lost their nobiliary particle in the 18th century: not because they were frightened during the french revolution and preferred to lose their handle better than their head, as my father is kidding her, but because of a mistake of a notary under King Louis XV ! LOL my mother is kind of pissed that we in the family value our father's family more than hers, while she is the one who comes from a "good" family while my father's side illustrated itself only in the last century. In large part, the difference is due to the fact that all men died during the first world war on my mother's side, the only one remaining dying during the second world war ... which of course is quite an impediment for going up in society ... and explains why my father's side looks better now.
Oh well, those stories are a part of who i am, i guess.
LinkWrite my body

Faces of people [Oct. 6th, 2001|12:33 pm]
vriane
Some people look like rocks, some others, young, you can see their history on it, babies with great eyes who seem to be in another world, young women who begin to become adult, the face becomes a little bit more tense, they seem to have begun living and enduring.
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I am afraid of some tendencies in some americans [Sep. 12th, 2001|10:53 pm]
vriane
[Current Mood |distresseddistressed]

What will the americans do ? When i see Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Dresden, the killing of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, the fostering of Talibans
by the CIA in the war against USSR, Vietnam, where so many innocents died burnt by Napalm, ... I am worried.
Are they going to launch nuclear bombs, kill muslims and all arabic
people ? Bush said he would retaliate ! This guy is capable of anything,
he does not even know where Afghanistan or Pakistan is, he may launch his bomb on Greece as well (he does not even know they are greeks, not grecians ! ... he never set a foot outside of North America)
I am afraid when i see so many american fanatics on the newsgroups.
The terrorists at least, do not have the most powerful army with the richest country in the world behind them.
I know there are many sane people in the US government, and i love America. But i am afraid of some tendencies of people out there.
Let us all in the world hope americans understand that when a country is
the most powerful in the world, it must use that force responsibly lest
hate and revenge arise in the heart of people of the third world.
Let us help eradicate fanaticism everywhere through education and
development, not through violence.
Link2 wrote on me|Write my body

US attacks [Sep. 11th, 2001|07:36 pm]
vriane
[Current Mood |worriedworried]
[Current Music |information on radio]

May all this not degenerate anymore, i hope those who died were in peace
with themselves and i hope everybody will not panic.
May Bush keep a cool head like a president should have, and not react
impulsively. We do not know who did it, so let's not hit anybody ... that
would only make things worse.
WAIT, SEE and _THINK_ !
Those events did not come out from nowhere, they are the result of big
changes in the world, against which violent retaliation is not a
solution.
New problems of which those attacks are the iceberg tip require new
solutions that do NOT include hitting innocent people, be it even as a
retaliation against undiscriminate terrorist attacks.
Of course, that way of thinking is a bit premature, and i recognize the
need for some people to express their anger on the internet.
I hope we, in a collective sense, will take the lessons from those cruel
global scale events.
LinkWrite my body

Since i am at it [Aug. 3rd, 2001|03:18 pm]
vriane
i will write a bit !
beginning to take good photos with my Pentax, one of a seagull flying over the river on which there are reflections of the buildings, which i find cool. I am quite happy with my Sigma 100-300 zoom, it gave me well defined pictures. I am waiting for photos of buildings i took at night. Readying myself for 3 weeks in the mountain, i will begin slowly as i did not do a pre-walk as i usually do to test if my gear is OK. Will not bring my Pentax with me, though, too heavy, but plan on doing some photo week ends in September.
LinkWrite my body

Photos [Jul. 21st, 2001|10:27 pm]
vriane
[Current Mood |busybusy]

Experimenting with my Pentax, to be ready for the next week-end in the mountain. Hesitating between ISO 200 or 100, i would need 2 cameras !
I will have to wait until Monday to know the result of my experimentation, especially how the red in the sky comes up on ISO 200, and then on ISO 100 + i still have a lot of experimentation to do on the choice of speed and obturation.
Geez, picture making is technical !
LinkWrite my body

Smoking / Not smoking [Jul. 15th, 2001|07:01 pm]
vriane
[Current Mood |curiouscurious]

Wonder how people can stand smoking, i cannot even stand sitting next to a person who smokes ! What ? Don't they feel the smoke going into their lungs, sitting there and, like, numbing everything ?
OK, i am a bit strong here, i did smoke when i was younger some cigarettes, for example, one in the morning before going to class, and that was, well, cool. But now, i really so much feel the harm it is doing to myself that i do not smoke even one cigarette occasionally. It is not that i fear getting hooked, i know i never get hooked by cigarette, but it is simply that after smoking, i do not feel good, and even when i smoke, i feel my tongue getting burned, my throat getting, i do not know how to express that, "coarse", and i need to do quite a lot of inspiration-expiration to get rid of the bad feeling. Add to that that i can also get headache (but that is more the case when passive smoking than when smoking) and you get the picture.
Oh well, that only means i always move on when somebody starts smoking next to me. When they are friends, they quickly realize i will not stay with them if they begin to smoke. What i do not do is ask them to stop smoking (except of course if i HAVE to stay, which is quite rare) but i usually make it quite clear that i leave because there is smoke.
Well, well, people who smoke must have their senses quite numbed down to bear it ! LOL, they may even not be able to taste anything, or smell anything, not talking about eyes that get itchy, and fingers that get scratchy (women who smoke usually do not have nice skin). Ugh ! I feel more pity than contempt, after all, that is their life ... Maybe they get compensation, like, maybe they cannot bear feeling anything anymore, so they smoke ? Like, it is a protective mechanism ? Life has been or is too hard for them ? They are afraid to feel anything, or prefer to feel only one thing, the smell of smoke and effect of nicotine, so that all their life gets a unity (quite dull, like all unity). Hum, i prefer living life with all its variety, if you want my advice !
LinkWrite my body

Racontars [Jul. 8th, 2001|07:52 pm]
vriane
Ok, what was it ? Yes, it was a beautiful country, full of variety, ludicrously green, you could spend a day trying to understand what was in your eyes.
Then, an atmosphere in the city, slightly malodorous, but in which i felt at ease, because i am member of it, a name in the city, although nobody knows. Then people playing a boring game in which they do not believe anymore, but that is the only thing that they can hang up to. The curious student is not aware of this, and will burn himself, but that is what he thinks his role is to play.
Coming up, up, up and then memories, and familiar scenes. In the house, old servants that are not old because they get their vitality from the earth from which they come. They are the benediction of this country to a relative newcomer. They own the right to transfer the right.
Then come the children, and the petit fours, and the conversation, trying to favor no one, but that cousin C. is most beautiful and her legend makes her most attractive. Too long a conversation, though, could turn boring given how little we know of each other, and the little of time we could continue. Then, food calls, and we get separated, but that is not a bad thing. We got along. Making jokes and entertaining is part of the job too, so i do. The end is in silent conciliabule, a remark we are calm people, a serenity.
Then going to our quarters, the activity of the house gradually ceases, and a long night begins, with annoying mosquitoes, fought in the only manner they can : shutting the noise out.
The other day, slight rain, ludicrous green, a trip that goes the other way, and then, silence in the city. What went on during my absence ? Only it knows.
LinkWrite my body

OM [Jul. 8th, 2001|05:21 pm]
vriane
Been doing lots of OM mantra lately. Before that, was more like "Om nama shivaya" but that was too complicated. I wonder how mantras are supposed to work: for me, it quiets down the naggy voice of my little self who always judges all what i do and see, and is quite tiring this way. It also helps me unify all what i see under a common thread, certainly because since i repeat mentally Om all the time, it becomes associated with all what i feel, see, taste, etc. I think i have a lot of progress to do in that technique, but it is helpful already. Does not prevent me to think. I will ask if i could be doing something bad by suppressing my "Surmoi" in Freudian psychology this way. Because that nagging voive is the "Surmoi", like Jiminy Cricket for Pinocchio, but even more annoying.
Will do another post about family reunion, perfect, i was happy, nice weather, got the occasion to speak with a most interesting cousin, share "deep" (but we kept it superficial so as not to get too much intimate too quick and maybe unwelcome) exchange of views on spiritual development of both of us and wondering about much many things which, by the simple fact that we both wonder on it, makes us quite close because, well, different. (More aware of our awareness, maybe not like really spiritual people who "get it" automatically, it seems. We both need to "hang up" and make efforts, it seems, and the effort is gratifying, i would not want to be "realized" directly. Love of anguish, because finally, what is there more ?
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